Greetings! Welcome to the latest edition of The New Absurdist‘s ‘Siskel and Deadebert’ story reviews. As you may or may not know, Deadebert has been, well...dead for some time now. He can no longer give the thumbs up so we’ll have to do rotting appendages. I myself, Gene Siskel, am NOT dead, but I have infected my limbs with gangrene, so that I may also give a rotting appendage up or down. This week’s story is going to be 'Fresh Sheets' by Justynn Tyme.
Deadebert: One of the first stories on TNA I ever read (and absurd stories in general) was 'Fresh Sheets'. Siskel:I'm not sure if this story is a blessing or a curse for Mr. Tyme: while this story is so well-written that it is wondrous, will he ever be able to eclipse its success and perfection? Deadebert: I think so. My favorite thing about this story is its light heartedness and aspect of good ol' fun. Siskel:When did that become so wrong? Why is it so vogue now to write stories filled with gore and despair? I say everything in its proper place; moderation all around. But there seems to be a lack of writers willing to just write a story that can make the reader smile, or laugh. Especially that satan165, what's his problem? Deadebert: I have no idea. He should just off himself. But anyways, Ray Fracalossy is one of those writers. His new e-book, 'Tales from the Vinegar Wasteland' is filled with something similar to the style in question. It really is a joy to read. Siskel:And that also made 'A Man Plagued by Dandelions' such a great story -- two great absurd minds with a common goal or making the readers feel good! Deadebert: Imagine the thought! Siskel:As the long running CEO of The Whimsical Icebox, Mr. Tyme has more absurdism in his stool then most writers can hope to have after daily absurd injections mainlined directly to their gall bladder.
Deadebert: And by stool, you mean his poop, not the chair. Siskel:That's right. I'm not talking about furniture. I'm talking about shit, the kind that comes out of your asshole. I like to call it a 'shitpipe' though. Deadebert: Right. We only have one character to focus on in this story. Sometimes it can be a mistake to fool with a complex hierarchy of people, when only in the context of a 750 word piece. Siskel:Yes, and what a character we have to focus on! His hobbies are a venerable list of absurd activities. Deadebert: I've never drank a hot water/maple syrup cocktail and I'm not sure that I ever will. But when I read about it, it seems as though it might not be all that bad! Siskel:This story is comforting. Swilling that odd concoction and the characters obsession with warm laundry and the smell of stacks of hot dryer sheets just feels nice to hear about. Deadebert: It's probably just because I am an obese bastard, it's fun to read about food in a story. Siskel:A lemon curd and sardine sandwich is something which I have not had the pleasure of experiencing first hand, but somehow it sounds rather delectable!
Deadebert: There is a paragraph near the middle that I think people often pass up the first time around. I get way too involved with the fresh sheets and the good stuff he has to eat and drink that there is a bit of descriptive action contained in this paragraph I think its quite important. Siskel:It's only told in the context of why he rides his bike on Saturdays. And it’s a late explanation of why he moves the glasses from cupboard to cupboard once a week (which was absurd enough on its own -- it’s even more humorous with the justification). Deadebert: That's right. Doesn't want to miss the weekly dog bathing! Siskel:This story may be the best story on TNA, at the very least it’s in the Top Three. I'm certainly going to give it one rotten appendage up. Deadebert: I'm going to take it to the next level and give this story TWO rotten appendages up! Siskel:Damn, you're setting a new precedent! Deadebert: Indeed! The addition of the second appendage will be reserved only for those stories which prove to go above and beyond the standard of greatness in terms of focused absurd material and overall great writing. Siskel:This story was #1 for quite a while, hopefully one day it shall return to those lofty heights. Deadebert: Let's hope so.