On the Road Again....

with Ratbag Hero

The Crew:

A little back story:
In summer 2003 I was filling in on bass for Shooting Blanks. They had a show with Ratbag Hero in Harvey @ Rube's. Also at the show was BORD, friends of Ratbag's from Madison. The next day (sunday) I got to play with BORD again with my own band, Low Profile.

So Ratbag Hero was going to be playing a gig in Madison Wisconsin. Weber made some comment like 'if anyone wants to go, let us know' on their guestbook. The comment was in passing and at first I thought nothing of it. I later learned that they planned to crash out there at Tim from BORD's house. The week went by and I couldn't decide if I wanted to go or not. Well Friday came aroudn and Ratbag got added to a Lyons Den gig in place of Burnside Bridge who had just broken up and canceled the gig. I headed over there and had a few with the guys and decided that I would go. We agreed to meet up around 1 pm in Bridgeport to head out on the road.

Well I got up plenty early and was on the road to Bridgeport by 12:30 but traffic was terrible and I didnt get there until like 1:30. Weber was salty with me but whatever. We loaded into Koz' massive conversion van with the 4 guys in the band, me and one of Chucks friends named Anthony. I had been thinking that I would be the only one smoking on herbs until I saw this guy who had a massive head of dreadlocks. We sparked the shit on the road up there and shit was good. I asked Weber what was the name of the club they were playing at and then I was told the show was at Tim's house, which I was totally unaware of. This was good since it meant BORD would be playing as well. Once we got away from the city traffic moved fast, Koz is an excellent driver.

Well we arrived around 4 pm or so. We had been intent on playing some wiffle ball when we arrived and it had been one of the warmest days in months in Chicago before we left. Of course when we arrived at Tim's house it was probably about 20 degrees, the wind was gusting about 20 mph and the windchill was aroudn zero. Terrible conditions. We opted for some football instead because the wind would have just taken the wiffle ball for a ride. Tim has a massive field behind his house which was perfect. The teams were:

1)Me
2)Weber
3)Tim

1)Chuck
2)Koz
3)Scott

I think I made one completion to Weber for about a 2 yard gain. Chuck caught one pass then Koz caught the winning touchdown. Final score: 1-0. Total downs played (both sides): 8.

Well we were frozen solid and out lungs were collapsing so we went inside. Tim already had acquired a keg: a 1/2 barrel of Leinikugels Honey Weiss. Tim lives in a real weird place. Its like some kind of hotel that is no longer a hotel, and people live there. He doesnt live in a hotel though....he lives in a house. Its like a hotel where everything is seperate. There is a tiny room (which he called 'the box',its in the foreground of the previous pic) right behind his living room. Its a one bedroom studio -- just like a hotel. There are a few other rooms/houses/whatever in this 'compound' scattered around. Theres a crazy long driveway to pull up to get to the place and like I said before a huge field behind his house. His house is super nice and has a bunch of bedrooms it would seem, he lives there with his girlfriend and 2 of her siblings. He has a massive living room with a fireplace which is awesome also. At one point, and I was in utter digust, Weber decided to take a shit. Now of course its in bad taste (at the very least) to take terrible shits in peoples houses (of course sometimes you have no choice). But Weber actually went and took a book off the shelf! When asked what he was doing he basically said he was going to take a dump. Zero class, let me tell ya. We watched some NCAA basketball and there were a number of good games on. Tim went and got his hair all done up wild style with glow in the dark hair spray (which worked well in the blacklight!)

We started drinking but soon realized that this tapper was severly fucked up. When you would switch it off it would continue to dribble out a considerable amount of brew. We got a wrench and me and Weber fucked with it but it refused to stop. It was tapped properly, and I even re-tapped it but to no avail. Well we were a little buzzed by now and Weber pulled out his cell and called 411. The name of the liquor store was on a sticker on the tapper: Regent St. Liquors. He got the number and called them. He tried to explain that half the beer had been wasted (it hadn't) and that we needed not only a replacement tapper, but also a new keg (for free of course). We got a local Wisconsinite (named Chuck I think) to cruise us into town to check the place out. This was also a good opportunity becasue now I could scout aroudn for 40s. I know that Madison has PBR and Mickeys Ice in 40s, neither of which is available in Chicago (Mickeys Ice is not available whatsoever in Chi-Town). Well we foudn the store and it was TINY. The guy had a keg full of water that they use to clean the taps. He tapped it with out 'defective' tapper and it worked fine! I don't understand this, it was really not working for us back at Tim's. He agreed to give us another tapper and Weber was still trying to get some free beer from the guy. I just waited outside at this point because they had no 40s. Eventually Weber came out -- he ended up buying a whole other 1/2 barrel of Bud Light or something and the guy gave him a whopping $10 off. I don't really know why he even bought it, there weren't very many people back at Tim's. Regardless, nothing wrong with more free beer. I convinced Chuck to take me to another liquor store. We foudn another one that was pretty ghetto, they even had a security guard. At this place they had a bunch of 40s, including the PBR and Mickeys Ice. And more importantly, the 2 I was on the lookout for (for a fellow collector): Busch Light and Bud Ice variation with neck labels. I copped those and Weber even went and got a 40 of PBR! As if he or we needed more beer.

Live shots from Ratbag Hero's Set:

BORD played for a while and rocked the house no doubt. Due to the prime location of his place and since the bands are in the basement, you can definately jam out blasting loud at all hours of the day and night, no one could possibly hear it, and there is no one around to hear it anyways. They probably played until about 1:30 am. They are preparing for an upcoming cover band contest, where you imitate another band and they are imitating Green Day. They played a bunch of the covers in their set, including some nice old schoolers like '2000 light years away' and 'going to pasalaqua'. Two guys were hammered and started wrestling which ruled. I sat down in a chair in the basment and I was severly nodding off despite the blaring rock music 10 feet from my earplugged ears. I hadn't slept much the night before to get up early to head out and started drinking early. Chuck made fun of me then took this pic. They we all just chilled aroudn drinking more and more. Eventually Me, Tim and some others went down and threw down some racous jams at like 2 AM. great fun. chucks guitar played super nice and his amp and head are to die for. And oh yeah, the infamous 'beef rork chickcken' sign stolen from our gig in Harvey was in full appearance in the BORD basement. Good lookin out guys!

Live shots from BORD's Set:

Finally around 4 or 5 am I called out what couch I was sleeping on. I started feeling sleepy and people were fallin out and chillin hardcore. Weber and Chuck shared the sectional next to me and Scott, Koz and Anthony all crashed on the floor in the living room. I actually slept pretty good. I wore earplugs while the bands played and after BORD I just threw them down on the table next to the couch. Strangely, it became a fun thing to do for the remaining members of BORD and other partygoers that were just standing in the door way watching us sleep! Granted we were all still awake (Chuck was actually passed out. He fell asleep after about 10 seconds of hte lights being off). Scott refused to go to bed and kept drinking flat beer in the dark for a while. The room was the perfect temperature and I had a blanket (but didn't use it). Also a key reason to wear velour -- great for sleeping in. As comfortable or more the pajamas. After sleeping for a few hours I woke up and heard a bunch of people snoring and breathing all disgusting so I found them in the dark and fired em back in -- total sensory deprivation! I slept like a baby and we woke up around noon. Chuck and everyone were cleaning up the mess of 100 cups of 1/2 oz. of beer and plates and shit. I didn't budge, just reached over to grab my camera and take pics of my slaves. (check out my feet in the shot hahahaha) That Chuck, he'd make a hell of a housewife, and I'm not just talking about his cleaning skills.

We loaded out and stopped at a gas station for provisions. I got a bottle of Tropicana Cran Apple juice, a 'cake donut' and also a blueberry 'muffin loaf' which was all very good. Then due to Scotts incessant bitching and crying, we stopped at a McDonalds. I didn't eat and just chilled outside with Weber. Weber didn't eat either because he ate 2 gas station egg mcmuffin sandwiches. I hear those are really good for your colon. They help to keep it cleaned out, so to speak. I am glad they stopped because I took a major shit while were there. I had hardly eaten anything the day before but I was almost sick the way I was shitting, just too much alcohol I guess. And youre welcome for the graphic image of me shitting, no problem. Those guys took like 30 minutes to eat. I eventually came back in to see what the fuck they were doing and they were just chilling at the table! their food was gone and they were loungin around. I needed to get home to see Sopranos (I did anyways with plenty of time). Finally they came out and I copped a nice group shot. I set the timer and set the camera on a ashtray/garbage can (you can see the wonders of my photography skills up top, that pic is the header). We hit the road then and traffic was light, we flew home. I was listening to my ipod while Weber read the paper. We were all pretty exhausted and it was quiet chillin listenin to more NCAA on the radio. Koz steered the ship flawlessly and we flew home quick.

Rather then have Koz pull off the Kennedy to let me off at the Cumberland train station where I was going to be picked up, I tried to jump out of the van A-Team style but they wouldn't let me. Traffic was backed up aroudn Cumberland as it always is and I still maintain that I would have darted thru the 5 mph traffic to the shoulder in seconds. But the good naturedness of Ratbag Hero preveted this and Koz proceeded to change thru like 6 lanes to get to the shoulder where I jumped out.

Good times, I'm glad I tagged along. Now I have to convince Tim to let me bring Low Profile up there. Thanx Ratbag Hero! It was awesome! I think you can judge a trip like this by the number of inside jokes that are created and there are a few from this one.

--satan165